scars of a rose
by Aureillia
Summary: because scars can only fade, and there are some wounds that not even time is able to heal - may&drew angst


**Disclaimer ~ I do not in any way, shape, or form own Pokemon, nor do I have anything to do with the franchise. All of that amazing world belongs to Satoshi Tajiri. Anything written here is purely for entertainment purposes.**

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The girl's blood-crimson dress flowed behind her figure elegantly, its embedded ruby red gems shimmering under the light of an overhead chandelier.

This setting was far out of her natural element, definitely not the type of event she would normally attend. Of course, you wouldn't be able to tell that by merely looking at her. With just a glance, she appeared entirely at ease. To anyone else, it would seem that the girl was a part of this society, frequently attending gatherings such as these.

Waves of chestnut-brown locks twisted with complicated precision into a stylish updo, a simple but distinguished jeweled pin placed delicately into it. Her pedicured feet adorned a pair of fashionable pumps which matched the colour of her dress, outlining the ruby-red painted toenails underneath.

Pristine. Polished. Perfection.

Lips shaded the exact colouring of her nails curled into a polite smile, just large enough to give off the impression that she was comfortable. Sapphire eyes heavily accented by long lashes, with a careful stroke of dark eyeliner and a speck of white in each corner.

Graceful. Beautiful. Flawless.

She was a vision of perfection.

To her, however, that was all it was; just a vision. An illusion. To her, it was entirely different.

She should have known not to expect anything less. This_ was_ the wedding of the youngest Pokémon Master and Kanto's own strongest Gym Leader, after all.

Of course it would have to be extravagant.

Knowing her friends, they would have fought hard to keep it to the bare minimum. But by the look of her surroundings, it seemed as though that particular battle hadn't been won.

Ash Ketchum and Misty Waterflower - or more Misty _Ketchum_, now - never were ones for extravagance. Even if Ash _did_ have an ego bigger than the whole of Kanto.

Much like herself, the two looked completely at ease with their surroundings. On the inside, however, she knew that they would be much like herself. Although, being the Pokémon Master and such an esteemed Gym Leader, the brunette assumed that the newlyweds were probably more accustomed to these types of events.

The couple probably would have been happy with a small garden wedding in Delia Ketchum's backyard, if anything. It wouldn't matter to them, as long as they were together.

However, it was the wedding of the century; making it completely impossible to be a small affair. After all, Ash had met more than his fair share of people in the past decade during his travels.

In her opinion, this day couldn't have come sooner. It was obvious to everyone that the two were meant to be together. The wedding had been perfect; Misty floating down the petal-littered aisle effortlessly, looking nothing less than a goddess of sheer perfection in her gown. Ash waiting at the alter, his jaw all but hitting the ground as he stared at his bride-to-be.

It couldn't have been more wonderful.

Being one of their closest companions, May had - much to the Cerulean Sisters' chagrin - naturally been deemed the honorary maid-of-honor the moment the question had come up. Other than her, Dawn Berlitz, Leaf Green, Misty's sisters, a wild but still beautiful woman named Iris Dragonmark, and Serena Yvonne were also included in the bridal party.

It was a shock to all that Serena had been asked by Misty personally, without anybody elses knowledge, to be a bridesmaid. Not even Ash. After all, it wasn't exactly a secret that the honey-blonde girl had harbored feelings for the male for a very long time.

That aside, everything had run smoothly. Even with the commotion and antics, albeit hysterical, that the groomsmen had caused.

It wasn't exactly a surprise, considering who was in the group:

Paul Shinji, which would have been a shocker, if not for the fact he was dating Dawn. Gary Oak, Ash's long-time friend and childhood rival. Cilan, a man which May had never met but took an instant liking to. Calem Xavier, who held an obvious crush on Serena.

And that was when she saw _him_.

Drew Hayden.

Standing on the other side of the room, face sculptured an arrogant mask. One hand stuffed into the black pocket if his suit, the other delicately holding a glass of champagne. His chartreuse hair combed and styled for the occasion, eyes of the same colour gazing around lazily.

What he was doing here, she didn't know.

They weren't friends, as far as she knew. But then again, what _did_ she know? It wasn't as if the two had kept in touch over the years, even if her, Misty and Ash still remained close friends. Not since he left, anyway.

Apart from Paul, who - although she had no idea how Dawn had managed to talk him into it - had a legitimate excuse to be involved within the inner workings of the wedding, May had no idea that her old rival had come to be that close with Ash.

Acquaintances? Sure. Friends? Not likely. Certainly not enough to be invited to his wedding.

Naturally, the two had spoken on more than one occasion. That didn't mean that they were best buddies. From what she remembered, Ash and Drew never really got along.

So how did he get himself to be involved?

And why, after all these years, did it have to be _now_? Why, of all the times for him to return, did it have to be _here_?

Just when she had learned to live without him. Right after she'd figured out how to mask the pain. Why did he have to come back as she'd finally managed to convince herself that she didn't need him?

When had he returned, anyway?

Not that she had expected him to seek her out personally to announce his return, of course. Why would he? It wasn't like he cared about her. It wasn't like she cared about him. Those days were long gone, and Drew could do what he wanted with his life.

It wasn't as though her opinion had ever mattered to him, anyway.

Once, she would have run up to him on sight. Boasting about a new appeal or ribbon that had been recently won. He would have smirked at her, adding in a signature hair flip for effect.

And that would be when the bickering would have began.

A smirk. A flip. A jab about her weak points.

A huff. An angry retort. A crack about his hair.

A sarcastic remark.

A furious screech.

And that's when he would toss one of them. A rose. One of his seemingly endless, perfect blood-red roses.

During the preparations for the wedding, they had all sat down to talk about the flower arrangements. It was May's job, after all, to make sure they had it right. They brought up every flower possible, everything under the sun and in all the regions until Misty picked the ones she desired most.

But not roses.

_Never _roses.

Nobody had mentioned those.

That was how it would go, it was how it always went. Never changing, ever the same. A continuous cycle from which there was no escape. She hated it. Hated how he would always appear so perfect, so flawless. So unlike herself. She wanted more than nothing for the day when she would break this endless conflict, turning the tables on him, instead.

She didn't want it to end, either.

Secretly, she looked forward to it. To seeing him. To seeing how much stronger he had become, because that was how much more strength she had to gain. The most important thing was keeping up, for every ribbon he won, she would do everything in her power to gain another, as well.

And _that_ she loathed even more.

She couldn't let him get ahead of her. She _had_ to prove that she would become better.

Nothing else mattered.

But things were different now.

They weren't fourteen anymore, running after the same dream of becoming a Top Coordinator. They had been childish, having petty arguments over nothing. Each of them insistent on outdoing the other, intent on proving that they were the most powerful.

Persistent. Confident. Determined.

That's what they had thought they were. Oh, how oblivious they had really been.

Arrogant. Foolish. Blind.

Nothing but a couple of kids trying to win in a losing game.

She knew that now.

They had changed. No longer was he that ignorant boy with the strange hair, constantly picking out every fault he could find. Breaking her down, turning each and every one of her strengths into an insecurity.

Her Pokémon. Her strategies. Her costumes. Her appeals. Her clumsiness.

Every. Last. Flaw.

And yet, somehow, underneath all of that he somehow managed to convince her that it was for her sake. That he did it to help her, make her stronger.

On some level, she knew that it was the truth. Because no matter how harsh his insults were, he really did care. But that was then, and this was now.

After all, she had changed, too.

Just as he wasn't the over confident, self-obsessive boy, she wasn't the girl he knew, either.

What had once been denial was now acceptance. The determination to be the best that had once radiated from her very core had long since faded, instead becoming the embodiment of a much harsher reality. Her eyes, long ago glowing with a fierce desire had grown dull and dreary.

While he had disappeared to challenge himself and follow his dreams, she had long since abandoned hers. Leaving the Coordinating world behind in order to make something of herself. Something that was actually possible. Something she wanted.

What was fame and glory when you had nobody to share it with? What was the point in continuing to fight, when you had nothing left to fight for?

He taught her to become stronger. To harden her heart towards the world, towards _him_. Without him there, who was left to challenge her? To prove her wrong. To push her to strive to be the best she could be. What was a dream when there wasn't anything to drive her to make it come true?

The day he left, he took her dreams with him.

Her heart stringing right behind them.

After all, dreams were only childish wishes. Hopeless ideals to cling to when there was nothing else left. Something created from your imagination so that you believe you have a purpose, they give a person something to live for.

And she held no regret. It would be pointless, she figured, to hold on to something long gone.

What was the worth in simply wishing for it to change?

Once, a long time ago, _she_ would have been the one fighting to prove that statement wrong. Mere years ago, in fact.

She knew better now.

Because he built up defences that he refused to put down. Creating impenetrable walls, protecting what he thought would only shatter even further had anybody been let in.

Barriers that nobody was able to break, not even her.

And when she tried to get in, did everything she could to help him, he pushed her aside. Simply discarded her like yesterdays newspaper. Then he left.

Took off for a new region, one with bigger prospects, and bigger chances. A place that would make his dream come true. A place without her.

But that didn't matter, not anymore. Drew had made his choice, and she had learned to live with it. He crushed her dreams, shattered her heart, and destroyed her hope. But it didn't matter. She got over it. It took her a long time, but eventually, she learned to cope.

She hardened herself. Closed her heart. Changed who she was.

It was a hard road, but in the end, it was worth it. May got over Drew, and he meant nothing to her. Just like she had never meant anything to him.

She gave him a choice, begged him to stay. But in the end, her effort was in vain. His decision was final, she couldn't persuade him to choose otherwise. No matter how much she wanted him to change his mind. No matter how much it killed her for him to leave.

Drew Hayden left, choosing a life away from them all. A life away from Solidad, the one person he trusted most. A life that didn't hold him back. One that was obviously worth more than anything he had here.

A life that didn't have her in it.

Although she hated herself for it, she couldn't let _that _go. She would never forgive him for that; for making her realize that she wasn't good enough. She couldn't forgive herself, either.

And despite everything that she told herself, even though she had learned to seal it away, the heart can never truly be repaired. Not when it was broken.

Not when he tore it apart.

The part that probably hurt the most, she thought, was that he didn't even know. That he would never know. He couldn't understand; because he didn't care.

Not that she expected any less.

This was Drew Hayden, after all. Since when did he care about what others felt?

The answer was simple; he didn't.

He simply tossed them aside, brushing off someone's feelings as though they were nothing. As though they meant nothing. Then again, she supposed, to him they didn't. Feelings only got in his way. They were a mere obstacle blocking the way on his path to greatness, just another minor detour.

She'd learned that the hard way, when he had done nothing but turn his back on her, right after she had begged him not to go. Poured her heart out to him, pleaded that she needed him there and that he belonged with her.

He didn't stay.

He didn't care.

He never did, and he never would.

So why should he now?

It was almost laughable, the irony of their situation was so cliché it was almost amusing. _Almost_. But May didn't laugh. She had no reason to. Now was the time to show him just how much stronger she had become.

Who did he think he was, anyway? What kind of stupid game was he trying to play? He couldn't just leave and then show up again. Not when she had accepted the fact that he wasn't coming back.

She turns, the incandescent light from the chandelier overhead shimmering off her gown. He looks over, and sapphire and emerald clash. Even from opposite ends of the room, the tension radiates throughout the atmosphere.

Slowly, he takes a step. He's testing the waters, she realizes; seeing just how far he can make her go. Taking a deep breath, she moves towards him.

This is what she'd been preparing herself for.

Drew Hayden was not going to win this game. Not today.

Moving with grace and finesse, she glides across the floor with confidence. Not once does her gaze falter, piercing into his own as the two draw near. Finally, they meet.

He smirks, something not uncommon to her. Some habits never die.

Her expression remains neutral, impassive and aware. Not giving anything away as she stands tall. His is one of curiosity, the smirk still playing on his lips.

"May," he greets. It's formal, nothing sharp or direct or harsh in his tone.

And yet the sound rings through her ears. That one, simple word cuts through and delves into memories that had been long forgotten. She grips her glass tightly, terrified.

She doesn't show it.

"Drew," she replies, her own voice clipped.

She sees him wince, his smirk falter slightly. But in an instant, it's back again. She smiles to herself; he didn't expect her to have the upper hand.

"You look beautiful."

It sounds earnest enough, but there is something that flickers in his eyes. She attempts a smile.

It probably came out as more of a grimace. She could hardly care. He didn't deserve to see her smile, not when he was the reason it was taken away.

"Thank you," she tells him, her tone unchanging.

She doesn't say more. She refuses to be the one to keep the conversation going. It surprises her when he does.

Their talk is casual, rehearsed. Something from a script. She's withdrawn, and he's anxious.

A smile.

A laugh.

Because that's how it goes when you're pretending that it isn't real.

Had he always been this way?

She doesn't remember.

And that was why she couldn't afford to let him back in, no matter how desperately some small part of her wanted to. Because she didn't know him, and she never had. Not really.

Because Drew never had a heart. He shut it off from the rest of the world, not caring who got hurt in the process.

And so, she shut hers off as well. He couldn't be mad. She was simply returning the favor.

He'd made it perfectly clear how he felt about her. Drew certainly didn't need her to survive, so why should she need him?

Drew Hayden would not break her again.

"How have you been?" Drew questions after a few moments of silence, and she notices that despite his composed demeanor, he's nervously leaning onto one leg.

"Busy."

"And Max?"

"Travelling. We see him from time to time. He always come back, though."

The hidden meaning in her words is obvious to both of them.

"The Gym?" He's desperate now.

"The same."

Drew stays silent for a moment, and she can tell that he's doesn't know how to handle the situation.

"You haven't changed." A lie.

She stares back at him, a vacant look in her eyes. They both know his words aren't true, and he seems to be regretting them.

"You have," is her response.

They fall into another wave of silence, and he seems to realize that this isn't going anywhere. He licks his lips, bringing a hand out of his pocket to run through his hair.

"Funny how time changes things, isn't it?" Drew stares directly at her as he speaks, "People, I mean. They influence you. Make you who you are. It changes them along the way."

Oh, the irony of it all.

"Sometimes you don't have a choice," she states, seriousness and years of heartbreak and experience lacing her words. "People make that decision for you. There are times when you learn that nothing you do will make a difference. Once you realize that, the only thing left to do is move on. To forget it all, and never look back."

His expression shifts to one of shock and remorse, not having expected her to be so outright. Mentally, she scoffs; he was still trying to avoid it. His mouth opening to speak until she cuts him off with words sharp as knives.

"You remove it from your life."

In that moment, his eyes give everything away.

Pain. Sorrow. Regret.

"May..." He trails off, knowing that nothing he says can possibly fix what's been broken. He knows that it's all too late; she can never forgive him.

Instead, Drew settles for a stare. A stare that, in so many ways, wishes for nothing more than to take back what's been done. Emerald orbs slice through her, longing and desperation pouring from years of regret.

But the damage is done, and he knows it. The time for apologies has long since passed, and there is no possible way to take it all back.

She flashes him another smile, this time one that lit up the entire room with it's glow.

That's how it seemed to the rest of the world, anyway.

Why would they notice that it didn't quite reach her eyes? Who were they to understand what she truly felt? They would never realize the mask she used to conceal her emotions, that the facade carefully structured was to prevent _him _from getting through.

To show him that he didn't affect her anymore, even though she was breaking inside.

To let him know that those days were long gone. That he couldn't hurt her anymore. That now he had finally realized the extent of his actions, he had to live knowing they could never be fixed.

Because to hurt her, he had to play a part in her life.

And that was a role he'd neglected a long time ago.

The intimate gathering later on that consisted of the newlywed's closest friends only served to remind them both of the situation they were in. Reality had struck Drew painfully, almost as painfully as it had crashed down on May all those years ago.

A forced chuckle.

A bitter smile.

A heartless laugh.

Empty words.

Because that's how it goes when you're playing their game.

It was over with, she thinks. The closure that had been missing for so long had finally been given. An enormous weight felt as though it had been lifted off her shoulders, yet at the same time, another one took it's place.

They both knew this wouldn't be the last time they saw each other.

She wondered briefly if the saying 'Two negatives equal a positive' applied in this situation.

And then mentally smacked herself for it, because the presence of Drew Hayden would bring anything _but_ happiness. Not for her, at least.

Throughout the years May Maple had learnt a lot of things, certain things others would argue much too young. Love, for example, is a twisted ride. The people you hold dearest are often the ones to inflict the most pain, each one of them impacting you in a unique but torturous way.

How deep of an impact they leave is unpredictable.

Because scars can only fade, and there are some wounds that not even time is able to heal.

And Drew Hayden is a permanent scar on May Maples heart, for he was one scar that would never truly fade.

**This was actually intended to have a happy ending, but I'd written it all months ago. When I opened it up and just added a few pieces here and there, I realized it was good the way it was. In a weird, depressing sort of way...**

**~Aureillia**


End file.
